First night (New Moon): Kameshwari: Always Empowering Desire
Energy: Desire in the darkness
Kameshvari carries a noose and goad, a cup of liquid gems, and a sugarcane bow with arrows of flowers. She has an open palm in Vara mudra, the gesture of gift giving and receiving.
In the deep darkness of the new moon night, Kameshwari asks us to peer into those parts of ourselves that may not have seen the light of day in a while, and find out what we truly desire. Be brave enough to want what you truly want, she tells us. This is not the time for a Miss America answer about World Peace. This is a chance to want when no one is watching.
The simple act of looking at these dark parts of ourselves, of knowing what we may have been afraid to know, can be deeply empowering, especially when we can do it with kindness and compassion for ourselves. Her noose captures desire, and her goad presses it forward. Her flower arrows may seem like soft weapons, but they will always seed into more of themselves. Stoneberg reminds us: “The receptive heart is willing to go into the darkness.”
Sit or lie down with your eyes closed. Dim the lights, and If you are lying down, add a scarf or eye bag so the darkness is a little bit more complete. Rest and breathe in this dark place, where there is no light shed, yet, on your deepest, most private desires. Keeping your awareness deep in the pit of your heart, invite your heart to tell you what it desires most deeply, beyond the mental chatter that tells you it’s not possible or you shouldn’t want it. Let yourself want.
Freewrite: every sentence begins with “I want.”